I’ve been feeling somewhat fragile for the past week. I wasn’t particularly intending to share here just yet, but I’m going through withdrawal from my OCD medication. I have nothing against medication, it really did help a whole lot, I’ve just decided that the side affects are not worth it for me, that I will stop taking it and that I am going to try very hard to manage this on my own with some meditation/yoga techniques and changes to my diet. The OCD wont ever be gone, I can accept that. It’s not something than can ever be “cured” as such but it certainly is something that can be controlled. I’m also aware that if I end up not being able to control it, I will need to go back on my medication and try a different combination again. I hope I don’t have to.
I tapered down my medication and finally took my last pill about a week ago. Since then I’ve been feeling pretty awful if truth be told. My brain feels like it’s been wrapped in cotton wool, I’ve had trouble speaking a couple of times and it takes it a split second for my brain to catch up with my eyes if I move too quickly, which makes me feel pretty dizzy. My hands, feet and lips periodically go numb and I occasionally feel like someone is practicing electroshock therapy on me. Most of it seems to be vision related, because I feel better when I close my eyes.
On the plus side, I’ve been sleeping like a corpse. I haven’t slept this well in a long time, lack of good quality sleep and constant lethargy was one of the side affects to the medication I didn’t particularly want to deal with anymore. Why create problems where there were none? I have also been getting a fair amount done around the house and in my veggie garden, if only to keep my mind off of how awful I have been feeling. I’m wishing the weather would improve again, being outside makes me feel a whole lot better.
Despite this, I did have a wonderful weekend. On Saturday I left Mikey at home and took a trip to IKEA and OBI (kind of like Home Depot) with a friend. On Sunday Mikey and I took a walk down to the riverside, we stopped at our favourite bakery and the owner told me that my German is really improving but that my accent is still British and Bavarian. I blame my highschool German teacher for the Bavarian part, I can’t seem to shake the pronunciation that she taught me.
We also watched people practicing for a boat race on the river, Mikey loved the boats.
I hope you all had a wonderful weekend.